Tuesday With Teri

This last weekend was Memorial Day. It seemed odd to be enjoying a beautiful day, relaxing and laughing with friends when the premise for this holiday is to remember those who can no longer enjoy such festivities, those who gave their lives in service.

I thought of the battles they may have endured, the wars they valiantly fought, and the empty places they left in this world when they died. There are communities lacking leaders and organizations missing hard workers. There are wives without husbands and husbands without wives. There are homes without fathers, mothers, daughters and sons.  I contemplated the impact of their lives as well as the impact of their loss…..all while basking in the sunshine on a beach, boating, playing bocce ball and corn hole, going to a winery, laughing a lot and drinking and eating with good friends. The irony weighed heavy on my heart.

I could not help but think of different battles this Memorial Day.

It was a Memorial Day weekend when my father lost his battle with cancer.  Each year I find myself quietly mourning the loss, while celebrating his life.  I am forever impacted by how he lived, laughed and loved.  A summer storm, rain evaporating off a heated driveway, and distant thunder, always brings my heart to a halt.  I easily envision my dad sitting at the edge of the garage, sweet tea in hand, taking in the show.  Like the soldiers who died in service, he too lost his life in battle, the treacherous battlefield of cancer…all my Memorial Days are tinted with the need to celebrate and never forget.

This Memorial Day, we joined dear friends as they honored their daughter, Linmarie, in a memorial service.  She too lost her life battling cancer.  The day was filed with familiar conflicting emotions.  In the church service we reverently shared in loss and heartache with her family and friends.  Following the service we equally shared in the celebration of her life…..once again, my Memorial Day meets with the need to celebrate and never forget.

As a nation, we take this time to honor those who lost their lives in service for our country.  We honor them by celebrating their life and service.  We honor them by living a life worthy of their sacrifice.  We honor them by enjoying our freedoms as we gather together for fellowship, fly the American flag and partake in religious activities without fear.  Memorial Day, a time to celebrate and never forget.

As the sun eased down over the horizon Monday night, I looked out at the orange and pink hued display.  It was as if I could see God Himself celebrating.  A reminder of the preciousness of life, each day a gift of grace.  Night will come, darkness may envelope us, but God is over all our darkest hours and deepest losses.  He is our Prince of peace in un-peaceful times and our comfort when the world cannot offer us comfort. Every sunset serves as a memorial.  Every sunset a reminder to celebrate and never forget.

“There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven…A time to give birth, and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted…..A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance…”

(Ecclesiastes 3:1-4)

This last weekend was Memorial Day. It seemed odd to be enjoying a beautiful day, relaxing and laughing with friends when the premise for this holiday is to remember those who can no longer enjoy such festivities, those who gave their lives in service.

I thought of the battles they may have endured, the wars they valiantly fought, and the empty places they left in this world when they died. There are communities lacking leaders and organizations missing hard workers. There are wives without husbands and husbands without wives. There are homes without fathers, mothers, daughters and sons.  I contemplated the impact of their lives as well as the impact of their loss…..all while basking in the sunshine on a beach, boating, playing bocce ball and corn hole, going to a winery, laughing a lot and drinking and eating with good friends. The irony weighed heavy on my heart.

I could not help but think of different battles this Memorial Day.

It was a Memorial Day weekend when my father lost his battle with cancer.  Each year I find myself quietly mourning the loss, while celebrating his life.  I am forever impacted by how he lived, laughed and loved.  A summer storm, rain evaporating off a heated driveway, and distant thunder, always brings my heart to a halt.  I easily envision my dad sitting at the edge of the garage, sweet tea in hand, taking in the show.  Like the soldiers who died in service, he too lost his life in battle, the treacherous battlefield of cancer…all my Memorial Days are tinted with the need to celebrate and never forget.

This Memorial Day, we joined dear friends as they honored their daughter, Linmarie, in a memorial service.  She too lost her life battling cancer.  The day was filed with familiar conflicting emotions.  In the church service we reverently shared in loss and heartache with her family and friends.  Following the service we equally shared in the celebration of her life…..once again, my Memorial Day meets with the need to celebrate and never forget.

As a nation, we take this time to honor those who lost their lives in service for our country.  We honor them by celebrating their life and service.  We honor them by living a life worthy of their sacrifice.  We honor them by enjoying our freedoms as we gather together for fellowship, fly the American flag and partake in religious activities without fear.  Memorial Day, a time to celebrate and never forget.

As the sun eased down over the horizon Monday night, I looked out at the orange and pink hued display.  It was as if I could see God Himself celebrating.  A reminder of the preciousness of life, each day a gift of grace.  Night will come, darkness may envelope us, but God is over all our darkest hours and deepest losses.  He is our Prince of peace in un-peaceful times and our comfort when the world cannot offer us comfort. Every sunset serves as a memorial.  Every sunset a reminder to celebrate and never forget.

“There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven…A time to give birth, and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted…..A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance…”

(Ecclesiastes 3:1-4)

We’re fairly certain our porky little Yorkie, Hughie, is going deaf.   This diagnosis is, of course, unprofessional. We base our concern from the results of numerous “tests” we performed. ( i.e. clapping, shouting, whistling and snapping right behind him, with no response) At first, we thought he was just being obstinate and ignoring our calls or commands. Now we have to retrain ourselves.

I keep forgetting he can’t hear me. I cannot tell you the number of times I heard him barking and have called out from another room to get him to stop.(not that, that was a real effective technique when he could hear…but now it is totally a waste of words).

When Hughie needs to know we are there, for his comfort and care (remember I am his favorite and he CRAVES my presence) he has to be able to see us. Sometimes he will lay just beyond the room I am in, waiting for me.   He does not hear me in there already, I have to go get him.

When we want him to follow a direction, he has to be able to see us. This point was most evident the other day when Scott and I took him for a walk on the beach.   As we casually strolled one direction, we noticed Hughie heading the opposite direction. He was busy sniffing every pile of sea grass and clump of sea anemone that had washed ashore. We intended to walk to our left, which is shorter and easier for our pokey, porky Yorkie to manage. He was steadily plodding to our right, a longer and more obstacle filled direction.

We did, as we are accustomed to doing, what every “normal” dog owner would do, we called out his name. “Hughie!”, “Hughie! Come here boy, wrong way little buddy, come on we’re over here!” Nothing. No ear twitch or head turn, no acknowledgment of our efforts. He just kept plodding along with his head down. Then we remembered he could not hear us.

Scott had to catch up to him (not difficult since was only “plodding” along) and physically turn him around facing our direction. When he saw me, he immediately continued his plodding, only now he was plodding the correct way.

I outwardly sighed at the confirmation of our new reality.   Inwardly I cringed, as I considered how often my relationship with God is like ours with Hughie.

How often is God right there with me, but I am not aware because I do not see Him? How often does He call me and I do not hear Him, because I cannot see Him? How often does He have to redirect my path, because I have not kept my eyes on Him and strayed away?   I am reminded how important it is to keep my eyes on Jesus. When I do not, it is easy to not hear Him, follow, obey or find comfort in Him.

Today I praise God for His continued grace and mercy towards me. I pray when I feel He is not there, that He will make His presence known in an obvious way. I pray that as I learn to keep my eyes on Him I will not lose heart. I pray He will meet me when I am on the wrong path, pick me up, turn me around and lead me His way.

“Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you may not grow weary, and lose heart.” Hebrews 12:2&3

This mother’s day we were joined by our good friends, the Catindigs, for a day of kayaking.   Myself, my hubby, Pam, Troy and their daughters, Taylor and Haley launched 4 kayaks and a tandem kayak from behind our house and paddled into adventure!   This day will hence forth be known as the Great Mother’s Day Marsh Maze!

Our house backs up to an inlet off the Chesapeake, off this inlet are numerous water trails that snake though what is known as Salt Ponds/Marshes.   The weekend prior to this, while kayaking with Troy and Pam, we discovered a nice waterway that circled us back around to the house. We planned to repeat this journey on our Mother’s day endeavor….but it was not so easy.

We knew the direction we needed to paddle, and THOUGHT we remembered which of the many turns we should take to find our way home…..but this is where things got out of hand.   After paddling down one way for a while we found ourselves at a dead-end. Everyone turned around and we retraced our path and attempted to correct our mistake. We thought we were on the right path at last. We soon found ourselves scrapping the bottom of our kayaks on the VERY shallow/ oyster lined sea bed. After a bit of scootching( I know this is not a real word, but it is the best way to describe this particular Kayak technique) and using our paddles to shove off the ground, we turned back again to find deeper water.

We each took turns picking the next route. We could see just above the tall marsh grass, and knew we were close to where we needed to be, but seemed to be off just a bit each time. At one point our paddling took us behind a cluster of townhouses whose back decks overlooked the marsh. As we paddled by, I looked up and noticed a homeowner standing on their deck, no doubt entertained by our motley kayaking crew.   From his vantage point I suppose he could see which path would actually connect to the way out of the marsh. How funny we must have appeared as we maneuvered through the maze of marsh grass. It would have been nice if he would have yelled out a hint or two.  We eventually discovered the way home. It was a beautiful day and, even though we were lost for part of it, we enjoyed the journey

Today I am thinking of another kayaking adventure I once encountered. Years ago, Linmarie, the daughter of our good friends, and I took off into the great unknown in my tandem kayak. “The great unknown”, was nothing more than a tiny creek just off the Potomac where we had been boating. We were paddling along the shoreline when she saw the small creek heading inland….we HAD to explore it.

The tiny creek got increasingly tinier the further we went. Eventually the water was so shallow we became wedged in a bank of sludge/sand. The creek was too narrow for us to turn around, so backing the kayak up was our only exit option. Now, Linmarie was an experienced, collegiate, rower…so I had expectations for her abilities. This situation called for creative maneuvering and Linmarie had it under control! Yep, as I sat in the back and pushed off the side of the creek bank for all I was worth…Linmarie stood up, leaned over, and grabbing the bow of our kayak began to rock us back and forth! Mud and grass flew in every direction as we pried ourselves free. By the time we reemerged from the creek and back to the Potomac, seaweed and mud dangled from our hat brims and my sides hurt from all the laughing we did! This is forever one of my favorite memories of my time with Linmarie.

Linmarie battled an aggressive cancer this last year. Yesterday we learned she had found rest in the arms of her God. She was too young, it was too soon, it does not make sense, why her? Even as a Christian I find myself asking God those questions.   It is always a struggle when we see those we love suffer, or when life is unduly difficult, unfair or unjust. There are so many times in life when I just do not understand WHY things happen….then I consider our kayaking adventures.

Our vantage point in life is limited by our circumstances. God is like the man on his back deck overlooking the marsh. God sees the bigger picture, He is the bigger picture. Sometimes, when we seek to understand the way, purpose or pattern of life, God gives us peace, direction or understanding…..but sometimes He allows us to travel down various paths trusting He knows the way, even if we do not. We may get stuck or need to turn around from time to time. We may be frustrated by our lack of a better vantage point, or wish we had all the big picture in which to make our choices. But in all things we know God has a plan and purpose in all that He allows in our lives.

Sometimes in life we just keep paddling, knowing God’s plans are best. His love for us is beyond all understanding and His ways beyond our comprehension. Paddle each day confident in His love for us, His provision and His grace. He is beneath us, above us, beside us, in front of us and behind us. Even when I do not understand, I will trust in Him.  He is with us in our journey, keep paddling!

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

        I am my dog’s favorite. It’s true…just ask my hubby. Hughie, our porky little yorkie, is infatuated with me. Whenever I am home he is always by my side. When I am behind a closed door, he waits for me by the door…I can hear him sniffing under the door and whining for me.  When I am gone from the house, he will often wander around looking for me. No matter where he is, or whose lap he is on, when I sit down he will prefer my lap. He is perfectly content to sit on someone else’s lap, as long as he can still see me across the room.

I could go on forever with a long list of evidences that I am his favorite, so it is strikingly odd that there is any situation in which he would show preference to someone else, but he does. As a rule, we have never shared our bed with our dog. Somehow, this past year, we weakened and Hughie now thinks sleeping in our bed is an acceptable routine. It began with him innocently sleeping at the foot of our bed, but these days that is just where he starts his night.

Every night, not long after the lights are off, we hear him padding along the bedding on his way to Scott’s side of the bed. He roots, and scratches around until he has made a nice little nook against the back of Scott’s knees. Scott will feel the weight of the dog’s tiny torso against legs as Hughie curls into a tight little ball, lets out a burp/sigh and then proceeds to snore. Yep, apparently I am his favorite…EXCEPT when he wants to really find rest.   Last night we laughed as Hughie carried out his odd nightly routine, but I get it. Scott is warm, strong and unmoving as he sleeps. I understand why he would want to snuggle up to him for true rest.

We all desire a place to find true rest. There are times when we need shelter or an anchor from the world and its storms. When I am tired, when it is dark, when I have exhausted all my own strength, I seek out my unshakable, unwavering God.   I snuggle up to Him through His Word, surround myself with His creation, and relax in knowing His grace towards me.   There is nothing I desire more than to be near Him and know Him. In this I find true rest. He is my favorite.

“My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him. For He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be shaken. On God my salvation and glory rest; the rock of my strength, my refuge is in God…” (Psalm 62:5-7)