Tuesday With Teri

          I have come to appreciate that certain things are relative.  Age for example.  When I was a teenager I recall thinking anyone over 30 was old.  By the time I was in my twenties, I considered 40 old.  I distinctly remember the day I turned thirty and thinking how young I still felt; at that time, 50 became the benchmark for old age.  Now that I am well, WELL, into my forties, I am very clearly convinced that 50-80 are grand years and nowhere near “old!”  Those over 80 are “ageless” and to be honored and admired.  As my father-in law is fond of reminding me, “Getting old sure beats the alternative!”

          I share this to remind myself of this concept.  You see, the other day  Steven, my 23yr old son, presented me with a rather large check, a reality check that is.  He had invited me to go to with him to a local estate sale.  It was my first time to attend one.  Estate sales are homes opened to the public and all items within it are up for sale.  People need to liquidate their assets for various reasons, sadly, often it is because the home’s owners either have passed away, or have moved into nursing homes.  It is a great place to find antiques or unique items at low cost.

          As we passed through the dimly lit rooms, packed with all sorts of knick-knacks and collectables, it was easy to imagine the previous owners of these possessions.  I was admiring a tin purse, set among a collection of fashionable hats, and picturing a woman who once went out to the local clubs with her husband and danced the night away.  My imaginative reverie was broke by my son’s insistent nudge.

          “Hey mom, look at this!”, He was proudly holding his intended purchase….a faded tootsie roll bank.  Yep, some of you know just what I am talking about…a simple, cylindrical, giant tootsie roll with a slot in the top for coins.   “You don’t want that,” I reprimanded him, “it’s not even OLD, I had one of those when I was young.”…..there was a slightly uncomfortable pause as everyone in the room with us overheard our conversation…”uh, mom,” said my son “you’re old.”  He said it somewhat carefully at first, as if he realized he may actually be the first to break this news to me, but that was soon followed by his laughter as well as a few chuckles from nearby shoppers.  He returned the item to its perch on a display shelf.

          I’m not saying I am antique material exactly, but I am more keenly aware of the distance I have come from being the little girl who once owned a Tootsie roll piggy bank.  I have been thinking about that a bit.  Even coming as far as I have, I know there is farther to go.

          Sometimes I wonder what God could be thinking as He sets me on my life path.  I most certainly do not always agree with how I have been made or understand His ways, but I do know I am His and even as I grow older, He is still perfecting me through His love and grace.

           I like this quote by J.C. Macauly, “God made you as you are in order to use you as He planned.”

I have not reached my goal, and I am not perfect.  But Christ has taken hold of me.  So I keep running and struggling to take hold of the prize.  (Phil.3:12)CEV

          Normally Hughie, our porky little Yorkie, sleeps in his kennel, a nice sized cage with his favorite doggie bed in it.   Scott has been on travel for a few days, so in a moment of weakness I succumbed to Hughie’s pitiful eyes and allowed him to stay in bed with me.

          He snuggled up against my legs and curled into a ball of contentment.   His sweet presence was welcome and comforting….that is until 4am, which is precisely the time I remembered WHY we never let Hughie sleep in the bed with us.

          It started as a slight disturbance as he worked his way up to the top of my head.  I tried to lie really still hoping he would think I was asleep still, hoping he would curl back into a ball of slumber.  It was not to be…soon his wet nose nudged under my hands as they attempted to cover my face, his tongue began to lash out at my eyes and his tail wagging energy was propelling him all over my head.  He was up, and ready to play!

          When he sleeps in his kennel, it is easy to make him wait until “I” am ready to get up.  No matter how much he fusses, if I want to sleep in, he is stuck in the kennel.   Sure, the kennel is a good, safe place for him to be when not being attended to….Sure, he likes sleeping in the kennel….but, to be honest, I have come to realize its effect on our relationship.

          When he is “in the box”, I control his proximity to me, his impact on me, I can even ignore him, if so inclined, and there is little he can do about it, except of course whine and bark.  When he is “free” and allowed to be beside me, he can communicate his desires MUCH more effectively, to the point of being impossible to ignore.

          I’ve come to the realization that I tend to trat my God in a similar fashion.  Sometimes I “allow” Him to be close to me.  I read His word, spend time in prayer, and take comfort in His presence in my life.  I know this is where He desires to be, snuggled up close, leading me through life. 

          Sometimes I relegate God to a “box.”  I can see Him, acknowledge His existence, say, He is my God….but because I keep Him far from my daily walk, I can be pretty good at ignoring Him.

          Having God close by may bring comfort, or, as was the case with Hughie, it may bring discomfort until I respond appropriately…but I know I’d rather experience God’s gentle nudges, insistent messages, and warm grace, than to spend any time away from His presence. 

          Tonight Hughie will sleep in his kennel, but I am moving God out of the “box” and bringing Him closer to my side.

Because Thy loving kindness is better than life, my lips will praise Thee.  Psalm 63:3

          Ever wonder what it would be like if we could see thought bubbles above people’s heads, like in the cartoon strips?  WELL…IF you could read thought bubbles above our heads, here is what you would have seen this last Sunday afternoon.

Me: Hmmmm, I have the afternoon to myself, the sun is shining, the wind is calm…I think I’ll go kayaking!

Hughie(my porky little Yorkshire terrier):  She is packing up stuff in the car, I don’t like the look of this, I’m getting left again…

Me: I’m gonna bring Hughie today…he did okay last time we went, except for when he jumped in the river trying to get to a turtle on a log, but that’s what life vests are for right?

Hughie: goody goody goody, she’s got my leash!  I’m going on a ride!

Me: guess what Hughie, we’re going kayaking today!

Hughie: not sure what she is saying, but she’s using the happy tone so it must be good!

(upon arrival at the boat dock)

Hughie:NOOOOOOOOOOO not the kayak!  Is this lady nuts?!  What does she think I am, a water loving Labrador?

Me:  Wow, you’ve put on a few pounds since our last kayak adventure…let me adjust the doggie life vest for you

Hughie:  I’d ask if this life vest makes me look fat, but I think the answer is obvious

(once safely in kayak and paddling underway)

Me: see Hughie, isn’t this fun?

Hughie: Pant, pant, pant,pant….I think I’m dying!  It’s hot, the big boats are going to run over us, “water water everywhere and not a drop to drink”…

Me: Hughie, quit being so pitiful, here is a cup of water…ooooh, sorry about that,  didn’t mean to hit you in the head with the paddle…of course that would not happen IF you would stay at your end of the kayak

Hughie: Land, I see land!  If only she’d get a little closer…I think I can jump for it and make my escape

Me: Hughie, don’t lean so far out of the boat…you’re going to fall in!  Hey look, Geese…!

Hughie:  Drats, foiled again…wait, is she seriously paddling us into that flock of floating birds?!

Me: Look at all those geese Hughie, aren’t they amazing

Hughie: I’m gonna die!  Those birds are HUGE and we’re headed right for them…!

Me: oh, Hughie, don’t worry, you don’t look anything like Goose food…see they all just flew away

Hughie: pant pant pantpant, that was a close one!  Hey, I think I see  land again…

Me: Hughie, I know what you’re thinking…that is NOT land, it is a bunch of floating river plants…get off the edge of the boat.

Hughie: drat and double drat

Me: well we should head back, seriously, this would be sooooo much easier if you would get off my lap while I paddled…

Hughie: Finally, she is turning us back to the dock…I can smell land already..

Me: Hughie, get back, your leaning too far over the edge…Hughie, you might fall, Hughie, we’re almost home,   (SPLASH) Hughie?

Hughie: (after being pulled up from the river by the handle of his doggie life vest, with river palnts dangling from his laid back ears and his little fur coat soaking wet)  I am SO NOT A FAN of the river!  This is very undignified…

            Later, safely on land and in the comfort of  dry clothes, I thought about the day…..

          I can only imagine what “thought bubbles” would be visible if one could see the interaction between God and me on the life adventure He has put me on.  

          I wonder how often I tend to get in God’s way.  How often do I look for ways to escape His plans for my journey?  Do I allow fear to rule when I think He is taking me a direction I don’t understand or agree with? Do I lean too far out of His will?  How often does my God have to reach down and pluck me from the chaos of my own choices, burdensome remnants from life dangling from me like river plants off Hughie. 

Time to adjust our “Life Vests”,( our relationship with God through His son Jesus Christ), and TRUST God in all things!

          My memories of our family’s reunions are numerous and vivid. The Bloodworth family has been participating in reunions for as long as I can remember.  Many moons ago periodically  we gathered from the far ends of the US to the Illinois/Missouri region to visit with relatives we seldom saw and meet new ones.  I must admit those early reunions are only memorable because of the discomfort that accompanied them.   It was ALWAYS hot, outdoors, and chock full of folks I did not know too well.  But, being one of Harvey and Mabel Bloodworth’s  grand kids meant being a part of a something larger than myself and although I was too young to know it then, these reunions would come to mean the world to me and my family. 

         Like the snapshots that preserve them, I can see past reunions in clear snippets of time; Old-fashioned folding lawn chairs, cans of Shasta soda, homemade ice cream, great food, hot days, late nights, lots of talking and laughing, stories being told and history being shared.

         This last 4^th of July weekend we gathered once again…

         These precious reunions are striking reminders of how special family is to us all.  Over the years, I witnessed this family’s care for each other in all things.  I have experienced their care for me.

         When my father was sent overseas, my Uncle John and Aunt Wilma watched over us and came along side my mother as she parented us in his absence.  They filled my life with wonderful memories of camping, cool spring water from a tin cup, backyard Easter egg hunts and crab apple trees.

          I remember my Uncle Otto and Aunt Willidene helping to take care of us.  I remember peanut butter and honey toast, footy pajamas, rose scented soaps and a rocking chair.

          Uncle Luther and Aunt Jenna always had room for us in their tiny house when we came to town.  We’d pack their basement like a circus clown car, but we’d always fit and felt welcomed. 

          Aunt Mig never minded when we raided her fridge for olives, or used her phone to call boys. 

         When Uncle Jack would visit my husband and I in the early days of our marriage, he was always an encouraging and supportive mentor for my husband and his fledgling career. 

Family makes us feel loved and treasured.

          This family has seen its share of heartache and hardship.  Health issues, financial  crisis, difficult relationships, diversity, distances and the passing of loved ones have all been a part of our family’s journey.  Through it all I have witnessed our family walk in faith and grace.   We have greived together and celebrated life together.  We may not all be like minded, but thanks to the legacy of Harvey and Mabel Bloodworth, we are like hearted.

         My cousin Don said it best when he shared a devotional at this year’s reunion.  He reminded us all of the great FORTUNE we have in our family, one I hope my children have inherited and will one day pass on to their children….

F aith

Obedience

Respect

Tenacity

Understanding

Nurturing

Empathy

          A few nights ago, we received a frantic phone call from our daughter Ashley.   She is currently a student at the College of Charleston in South Carolina.  What kind of crisis would cause a 21 yr old to call her daddy after 10 o’clock at night?  A bug.  Yep…seems she had her first encounter with a uniquely southern critter known by most folks as a “Palmetto Bug”, but that is just a nice way of saying SUPER BIG FLYING COCKROACH.

         She ranted and wailed about the despicable intruder.  We tried to reason with her, “just kill it”, “put a book on it”, “it won’t bite”, “calm down”….but she was not to be consoled.   She was almost to tears, actually tears may have been shed, and more than a bit freaked out.  She was being unreasonable…refusing to kill it, refusing to be in the room with it, wanting to move home, insisting a friend come over after he got off work to kill it for her…we chastised her for be so ridiculous and even made fun of her crazy antics regarding this pesky creature.  She just needed to get over it, kill the bug, and move on with her life…at least that is how I felt prior to last night.

          I was doing laundry and talking with my mom on the phone when I saw it….THE BIGGEST SPIDER I have ever seen outside of the entomology exhibit at the Smithsonian!   Now, keep in mind that I am not squeamish.  I have dealt with many a yucky bug or creature in my lifetime.  I do not relish squashing “crunchy” bugs, but in general, I am ready to kill or remove any creepy crawly thing that invades my home.  So when I tell you this spider was HUGE and menacing I am not exaggerating.  I was more than a little “freaked out”, as my poor mom can attest to since I spent a lot of time ranting and wailing over the phone to her about my unwelcome guest.  I wanted to cry, it was so scary and startled me so much.  I soon became unreasonable….I considered leaving the house until my husband got home, but he was out of town, I thought about calling a neighbor over, but it was late and by now, I had visions of spiders everywhere outside, “would police come if I called them?” I wondered for a brief moment.

A half of can of spider spray: $2.50

  Calories burned by aerobic cardio activity while “dealing with spider”: 300 

 New perspective on my daughters palmetto bug distress: PRICELESS

          After last night I could not help but think of how much her heart pounded, how she wanted to cry and how unnerved she had been the night of her bug encounter…I now had a much better understanding for what she was feeling .  Now I “get” just how she felt that night.  If I had had, my GIANT SPIDER experience prior to her call there is no doubt I would have handled her crisis with more understanding and grace.  I would have empathy.

         Empathy, being able to share another’s feelings…that is just what our Christ has for us.  He knew suffering, frustration, exhaustion, disappointment, loss of loved ones, discouragement, and grief.  When I call on Him in the midst of a crisis…suffering, frustration, exhaustion, disappointment, loss of loved ones, discouragement and grief…He “gets” it, He understands how I feel.  He responds with understanding and grace.

          It was 95 degrees today…not bad for summertime I suppose…but it was a VERY humid 95 degrees.   I was not prepared for the wetness of the warmth that smacked me in the face when I walked outside.   After taking only a few breathes, I felt like I was drowning.  I did not stay outside for long.  My plans for walking the dogs melted away with the stifling heat.

          I assume the heat continued to be oppressively intense, I would not know for sure, as I elected to stay in my air conditioned home for the better part of the afternoon.   By evening, the atmosphere began to release its heavy burden of moisture resulting in a glorious summer thunderstorm.

          When the drops finally stopped, the dogs and I ventured outside once more.   I was astonished at the difference the rain had made.  The air, once suffocating and heavy, now seemed intoxicating.  I inhaled intentionally.  The air was cool, almost crisp like fall.  It was a great relief! 

         When I think of rain, or “gully washers” as my dad used to call them, I think of the inconvenience.  Rain ruins plans and causes floods.  Sure, like everyone else, I appreciate the life that rain brings to God’s creation as well…but I must admit, I have never thought much about the RELIEF rain brings.

          I stood outside a bit longer, the wet tree leaves glistening in the bright moon light, the wet grass clinging to my shoes, and soaked in the sweet relief.   I have felt this relief before…it is found in the burden lifting grace of our God.

           A young mother shared a funny story with me concerning a recent conversation she had with her young son.   He had been attending a summer science day camp and they wondered if he was actually learning anything worth the extra dollars the camp was costing them.  Their concerns were laid to rest somewhat when the young man pointed to a small brown pile in a yard and proclaimed, “Look, its scat!”  He went on to explain to his parents that “scat” was just another word for poop.  Thinking maybe that they had been learning about forest animals in science camp, his mom encouraged the conversation with, “I wonder if it is from a fox or a squirrel.”    “No mom”, came his reply, “it’s just from a dog”. Sigh…

          This conversation brought back memories of a gift my clever mother got her grandson one year, a book containing everything you would ever need to know about animal scat.  Did you know you could discover what kinds of animals inhabit an area just by observing various types of scat?

         I do not think I would care to spend much time observing or contemplating scat, or as the Apostle Paul calls it, “DUNG,” but I think I may have a tendency to do just that, dwell on the dung. 

“…. I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord; for Whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness…but that which is through the faith of Christ.”            (Phil. 3:8-9 )KJV

          I don’t want to “dwell on the dung.”  I want to be found in Him, grasp knowledge of Him, conform to Him, and grow in my relationship with Him…everything else is dung.

           Tuesday with Teri, the event from which this blog received its name, has begun.  Each Tuesday during the summer, we welcome moms and kids to our pool from 10am to 2pm.  It is always such a blessing.   I absolutely love being with these moms and their precious little ones.  My own kids are young adults now and they no longer squeal with delight as they jump in the pool, giggle at my antics or enjoy a good neon colored pop ice the way these kids do.  It is refreshing to be with them.

          The mermaid attacks were to be expected.  Two of my young pool guests declared sometime last year that they were “mermaid detectives”.  This designation required them to swim in a small formation and hunt down unsuspecting adults for splash attacks.  This year my little mermaids embarked on a new method of attack.

          The sweet innocent voices would call out, “its okay Miss Teri, we won’t splash you….you should just come stand right over here.”  They would encourage me to position myself a few feet from the side of the pool, then, with a giggle and a squeal, they launched out over the water and landed two perfect cannon ball splashes on either side of me.  We played this scene out over and over …each time I would pretend to be unaware of the impending attack, each time they would promise not to splash me. 

          My favorite pitch went like this, “We love you Miss Teri, we would NEVER splash you…go ahead and just lay back and float right there…”  Of course I would do just as told….and SPLASH, they were laughing so hard they were sputtering pool water trying to swim back to the poolside for the next attack.   It was not long before a few of the young ones noticed the fun they were having and wanted to join in the jumping. 

         It never got old.  It was funny every single time.  I am pretty sure that if their moms did not require them to get out of the pool so they could go home, I would be standing in the middle of my pool surrounded by loud, laughing, splashing mermaids until midnight! 

These young ones taught me some very good lessons today:

• *When you laugh, laugh loud and with abandon…just make sure you close you mouth if you are underwater.   I never realize how little I actually laugh aloud until I do, then it sometimes seems like a foreign language…I want to laugh more and louder in life.

• When you jump, jump as far and high as you can.  Little jumps might be easier, but you miss the fun of the “splash.”  Big jumps impact others!  I am not a big risk taker…I like my life journey to come in baby steps, but sometimes God calls us to JUMP in with all of our being.   Maybe I should be making a bigger splash for Him and impacting others.

• When you find something that brings you joy, embrace it, do it, share it….until it is time to go home.    Truly, the joy of the Lord is my strength, and yet at times I allow the world to steal my joy.   God’s blessings are abundant.  I want to be constantly mindful and quick to share the JOY of  His truth, grace, and love…until He calls me home.

 Restore to me the joy of my salvation, and sustain me with a willing spirit.  Then I will teach transgressors Thy ways, and sinners will be converted to Thee. ( Psalm 51:12-13)

          I should know better by now, it is not as if this is the first time, but I went to the store thirsty.   I have heard people say that when they go to the grocery store hungry they tend buy more junk food.  I think this is true concerning thirst.  It triggers a shopper to purchase items they would not have bought otherwise.

          Today my “quick trip” to pick up a few things at the grocery store turned into an impulse purchase extravaganza.  I was extremely thirsty.  It was a hot day and I had a very busy morning.  The only beverage I consumed was a cup of coffee much earlier in the day.   Thirst soon took control of my shopping cart.  By the time I was in aisle 4 of the 13 aisle grocery store my cart contained three different kinds of juice and ice tea mix, none of which was on my initial shopping list.

          Anything fruit flavored was especially enticing.  Popsicles and fruit flavored gummy worms seemed oddly refreshing.  Eventually I checked out and loaded my bags into the car for the short 3 min. ride home.  Before leaving the parking lot, I opened the bag of gummy worms.  I am not sure how my mind transitioned from being thirsty to desiring juice then fruit then gummy worms, but it did.  I popped the chewy treat in my mouth and headed for home.

          At first the fruity flavored excited my taste buds and seemed to moisten my mouth.  The refreshed feeling was fleeting and I tried another worm.   The drive home seemed to last forever as the sweet candy only increased my desire for refreshment.  I did not even wait until all the groceries were unloaded before filling my glass with an ice-cold juice.   Once my glass was empty, I felt compelled to drink more of the thick, sweet juice.  I regretted drinking so much.  I felt full, but still thirsty.

          Once the groceries were put away, I fixed myself a big glass of ice water.  I sat for a moment and slowly drank in the simple, yet satisfying refreshment.   I felt my entire being relax as I set the empty glass on the counter.  That was all I needed.   Water had quenched my thirst without leaving wanting more or regretting my choice to drink. 

          As I thought of all the senseless things I purchased I almost laughed aloud.   Thirst is a very powerful motivator.  Lately I have been challenged to examine my own motivation in my relationship with God.

          How much do I thirst after Him?  What draws me to Him?  Will anything else fill that thirst?  How can I seek refreshment in Him each day?  He is the water that stops my thirst and does not leave me needing more or feeling regret.

          Am I drawn to Him like I was to the juice section of the store or the bag of fruit chewy worms?  This week I will seek Him with a thirst that can only be met by His sufficient grace.

“As the deer pants for the water brooks, So my soul pants for Thee, O God.  My soul thirst for God, the living God…”( Psalm 42:1-2)

          “MMmmmmm”, said our waitress as she reached to retrieve an empty dish from in front of Dorothy, my new friend and dining companion at a recent writer’s conference.  “What is that you’re wearing, it smells great?” Without so much as a beat Dorothy proclaimed, “Hard work!”   The poor girl didn’t know what to say next.  The awkward silence was soon filled with laughter.  Throughout the evening Dorothy’s unique wit had us rolling.  “I want to be like you when I grow up!” commented one dinner guest, obviously in awe of Dorothy’s easy laughter and sense of humor.  Dorothy’s response was uncharacteristically somber. “Thank you,” she said, “that means a lot to me.”   She went onto share she had only recently come to a place of healing following a severe mental disorder.  Our laughter subsided as we leaned closer to hear her testimony.  

          After a lifetime of struggle and hardship, she had found mental health. She shared how God had protected her and provided a way for her in the midst of a tragic childhood. She praised God and desired to write her story so others could benefit from her journey.   Although Dorothy’s story was unique, trials and triumphs seemed to be a consistant theme in the many lives of people I met during this week.   

           I looked out over the crowded dinning  room and recalled all the stories and testimonies I had heard.  I took in the bubbling scene of clanking silverware, loud laughter and thoughtful expressions.  There were many faces whose names and stories I did not know.  I wondered what wounds they hid beneath their radiant smiles and dining pleasantries. 

         Then it all became clear… Dorothy’s revelation at our banquet table was just one piece of a beautiful puzzle.  The banquet room, packed with writers and speakers from all walks of life, was  full of God’s beauty.  Lives once filled with heartache or hurt, now sought to share hope and grace to others through the words God had given them.  Truly God had turned their ashes to beauty.

 Isaiah 61:1-3 reminds us of our savior’s ministry to us all, “….to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and freedom to the prisoners; …to comfort all who mourn…giving them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting. So they will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He might be glorified.”

          We were all like Cinderella at times, sitting amid ashes in life. Unlike Cinderella, who needed a fairy godmother to whisk her away from her ashen abode, we have a God who turns our ashes into beautiful garland.

 Lord help us to recall your faithfulness and praise you even when times are trying.  Help us to become “oaks of rigteousness” that You might be glorified.