It’s that time of year again. It is a season of “firsts” for many moms. Maybe for you it is a first year of preschool, first year of kindergarten, first day of middle school, first bus ride, first day of high school, first day of college or first day of new job…but for each of you, I am sure the thoughts are similar. “Are they prepared for all they will encounter?”, “Have I done a good enough job?”, “Will they remember what we taught them?”, “Will they get along with others?”,“Will they be happy?” these are questions moms across the country will ponder on the night before their child’s “first” day.
It seems like only yesterday I too asked myself these questions on the eve of my son’s numerous “firsts”. I remember the excitement mingled with anxiety as he entered each new doorway.
There was the dreaded preschool doorway, where I pried his tiny fingers from mine and cried all the way to work. He had a great time and met me with a smile at the end of the day. The kindergarten doorway was less traumatic since, at the time, I worked in the same school and knew his teacher well. I recall slipping down the hallway to sneak a peek at how he was doing, his smile relieved my nerves. By the time he experienced his first day of middle school I was made aware of how much he had grown. He towered above me as we walked through that school door. The day he entered the doorway to his first day of high school, I had already spent hours in prayer. His first day of college was filled with numerous doorways, some would lead to success, others to lessons more difficultly learned. On the first day of his first real job(one in his desire profession) I was beyond proud of him, but praying it would be all he expected.
At each of these doorways I always wondered, “Is he prepared for all he will encounter?”, “Have we done a good enough job?”, “Will he remember what we taught him?”, “Will he get along with others?”, “Will he be happy?”. This week I am preparing to see my son enter yet another doorway.
This Saturday my son is getting married! I am struggling to find the adequate words to express how happy this makes me. He has found a wonderful young woman who is beautiful inside and out, but best of all, he has found someone who loves him. She loves who he is and how he is…and I love her for that. I remember the day my son took me to lunch and shared his heart with me. His love for her was undeniable and he knew he would love her forever and was ready to commit that to her. I knew in that moment I stood at another doorway with my son.
Suddenly I found myself filled with the familiar excitement mingled with anxiety which accompanied all the other doorways in his life. “Is he prepared for all he will encounter?”, “Have we done a good enough job?”, “Will he remember what we taught him?”, “Will he get along with others?”, “will he be happy?”….For the first time I stand at a doorway with my son and I know the answer to these questions. I know, because I have had the absolute privilege of walking him through many other doorways in life.
I know that he will meet all that he encounters with all of his best effort, energy, care and compassion. I know we have done a good enough job, because it was the best we could do and that has to be good enough. I know he will remember what we have taught him, because it has all been reinforced throughout his life and he seems infinitely more attentive to these things. I know he will get along with others, because we have watched him grow and establish great relationships. We have tried hard to present a good example for him as husband and wife. He is kind and compassionate and he is exceedingly genuine in all he does. I know he will be happy, because he has chosen Crystal to be his partner in all that life holds for them. He knows that to be happy does not require things to be perfect or easy. He knows that being happy is the result of loving, being loved and knowing there is nothing God cannot handle when it comes to your life.
Saturday I will watch my son stand at an amazing doorway in life, only this time, for the FIRST time, I will not be the one who walks with him through it….this time he will walk through the doorway with his sweet young bride. Don’t let the tears I will no doubt shed fool you….my heart will be filled and overflowing with joy!
Teri, that is so precious