Tuesday With Teri

As we consider the advent theme of love, my thoughts are on a helpful communication technique shared with us years ago.   When you are talking through a challenging conversation, or working through disagreements…after someone has spoken, before responding, repeat back to them what you heard them say.  Pausing to truly understand what was said, and to seek clarity before you respond is valuable. 

  The proposed conversation structure looked like this:

Person #1 shares thoughts or concern.

Perso n#2 then says, “what I just heard you say was……”

Person #1 affirms that was the intended meaning of their words, or they can course correct and clarify.

To be honest, we seldom applied this technique, our contentious or emotional conversations rarely played out so orderly…but we did find a place for it in our everyday life. 

Scott:  Hun, why do you always cook the scrambled eggs to death?

Me:   What I just heard you say was…You want to make breakfast yourself every day?

We may joke about it, but the reality is that we do need to be mindful of our communication.  Clear communication is never more important than when we want to communicate love. 

When my husband takes care of our vehicles, I hear “I love you.”  When he tends the yard and helps clean the house, I hear “I love you.”  When he takes the dog out on cold rainy days so I can stay warm and dry inside, I hear “I love you.” 

When I try to not make us late to events (a challenge because I tend to dilly dally), he hears “I love you.”  When I keep the home orderly and support his work, he hears “I love you.”   When I make him breakfast, even though the eggs are “cooked to death,” he hears “I love you”.

 Love manifested toward us is hard to miss…it is shown…it is felt…it changes things…it is LOUD and CLEAR…this is the love God revealed to us in the birth of Jesus.   In a humble barn, on a silent night pierced by the cry of a baby, wrapped in cloth and laid in a manger, God said, “I LOVE YOU!” Loud and Clear.   Do you hear it?

“In this is the love of God was manifested toward us, that God sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him.  In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His son to be propitiation(atonement) for our sins.” 1John 4:9-10

Lord, what I just heard you say was…. “I love you!”

May this week be filled with constant reminders of how deeply loved you are by God.