Tuesday With Teri

          It sort of looks like a bunch of snowmen had a get together on our back deck while we were away on vacation!  Yep, while we were relaxing in the Bahamas our home in Northern Virginia received record snow fall.  All this snow severly reduces one’s desire to be out and about.  I have spent these few days settling back into place, doing post vacation laundry, working on posting our vacation blog and photos(www.travelingwithteri.wordpress.com) and in general contemplating my relationship with God.

          What am I doing, where am I going, am I doing as God desires?  What is His will for me?  These are questions I have sought  answers to many times over the years.  Sometimes I felt sure of the answers, other times I struggled to know the difference between God’s will and my own ideas.  This time I found an answer that will always be correct no matter what season of life I may be in!

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.  1Thessalonians 5:16-18 

          Tah Dah!!!!  There it was, in print, in the WORD of God!  His will for me was written quite plainly for all to see….how had I missed this before?  At first I was elated to find such solid instruction and direction written clearly before me, but then my heart sank as I realized the difficulty of each of those mandates.

“Joyful always”?   Seriously?  Wouldn’t, “joyful as often as possible” be sufficient?

“Pray continually”?  I’m guessing my current habit of prior to meals, during a crisis or after volunteering for something beyond my own abilities is not enough?

“Give thanks in all circumstances”?  No way!  Surely this is a type-o…they left out the word “favorable”…all “favorable” circumstances, right?

Eeeek!  Once again the Word of the Lord faithfully yields wisdom and instruction.  Lord may Your words continually challenge and change me.

          We are taking Ashley, our 20year old, to school in the morning.  She is transferring to the College of Charleston in South Carolina.  We are proud of her hard work to accomplish this goal.  While we are excited for all the future holds for her, it is still a difficult season in life.  I know she is ready.  I know this is good.  But it is change, and change is never easy. 

           I joined her in her room yesterday as she finished her packing process.  For the first time I noticed how much her room is like a jigsaw puzzle.   Every item was like a piece of her life, a reflection of her personality, mementos of special moments or monuments to trying times.  Intact her room was a complete portrait of the young woman I call my daughter.

          I watched as she emptied her closet and drawers.   Suddenly the puzzle was losing its pieces.  I loved putting her in pretty pink things as a baby.  As a little girl she loved to play dress up and as a pre teen we clashed often regarding her clothing choices.  Later, as a teenager her clothing choices were a direct reflection of her mood and personality, and as a young adult her clothing was a way for her to communicate her need for respect, admiration and her strong sense of self.   The barren closet and drawers no longer hold this image of her.

         She deftly swept up bottles and brushes from atop her dresser and deposited them in a plastic tub.  Another piece of the puzzle disappeared.  It was only yesterday my baby girl entered this world with a head full of soft blonde hair framing her blue eyes.   She transitioned from bows and braids to curling irons and flatirons in no time it seems.   The top of her dresser, which once only had room for a goldfish bowl and a tube of chapstick, transformed into an artist’s pallet by the time she was a teen.  Lipsticks, eye shadow, blush, bronzers, mascara and various application brushes were a testament to her creative style and need to constantly seek beauty.  The space, which once held the tools of her quest for beauty, no longer, shows evidence of such a time. 

          Another piece of the puzzle faded away as photo frames were folded and carefully laid aside to be packed.   Every one of them images of she and her friends, always laughing, always together, always in the midst of adventure.  These photos she now packed away replaced others she has had over the years…although they were of younger years, the images were the same…all of smiling friends, laughter frozen in time, all reminders of important relationships. 

         Books which towered by her bedside table were quietly put away.  A piece of the puzzle falls to the ground.  Books in her bedroom were as necessary as walls and a roof.   She is always reading.   As a little girl she loved to be read to.   I spent countless hours over the years reading everything from Dr. Seuss to most of the Nancy Drew Mystery Series with her.   Now I can actually see the clean white surface of her bedside table, I will miss the teetering clutter of texts that once bore testimony to her love of literature.

          Boxes, bags and suitcases are piled in the hall awaiting tomorrow’s drive.   The items removed have left visual gaps in a room once full of chaos, love and life.  Like a jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces it stands before me now…but that is okay.  Her room is missing pieces that make it uniquely her, but our lives will never be missing the pieces that remind us of her uniqueness.   Her room may be empty, but her life is not.  Different closets to fill, dressers to cover, bedside tables to clutter and photos to collect are all awaiting her in the next few years, all of which will continue to complete the puzzle/portrait of the young woman I call my daughter.

Though we may be apart for a time, because she is my daughter I will always love her and be working for her best interest.   So is the relationship God desires for each of us,because we are His, He loves us and He will always be working in our best interest. ……. Colossians 1:19-23 reminds us all of this very love.

         This is week three of our advent celebration.  Each week, four prior to Christmas Eve, we gather to light a candle and consider the coming of our savior.    This week we light the candle of love.

          Our niece is getting married this weekend!  We are excited for her and our family.  We are busy preparing to join them for celebration in Pensacola Florida.  Yep, Florida…a whopping 16 hour drive.  Don’t get me wrong, we are glad to have such a wonderful reason to make such a trip, but it has some complexity to it. 

          My husband has a business trip this week.  He will need to fly to Canada then straight to Florida and meet us there by Thursday.   This requires him to pack for two different trips simultaneously.  The kids are taking final exams this week.  Since we need to leave by Thursday morning, they had to arrange to take a few of them early.  All of our Christmas shopping needs to be done.  Presents for the Florida families will be wrapped and packed into the car with us. 

          In addition to getting everything done for Christmas prior to our trip, we are also busy getting our daughter, and her car, ready to go off to college a week after we return.  After taking hubby to the airport, my day will be full of auto mechanic appointments, wrapping gifts, doing laundry and packing.  Our poor porkie little yorkie, Hughie, has seen the suitcases and has started his fretting, which includes pitiful whining, pacing, crawling into any open suitcase and sticking so close to me you’d think he was attached by Velcro. 

          At  O’dark hundred Thursday morning our son will drag himself home from his 12 hour night shift and slide into the car, which will already be packed and running.   We intend to drive straight through so we can maximize our time with our family.  Although the kids are grown up now, and less inclined to bicker endlessly while underway, I can still see a few tense moments in our journey.   When three adults with very diverse personalities spend 16 hours in a packed vehicle…well, let’s just say the group dynamics may require a bit of adjustment.   

          When we get there it will be great.   It will feel good to hug loved ones we can usually only hear on the phone. We are looking forward to seeing and experiencing the love of our family.  Nieces and nephews are growing too fast and most are young adults now.  We may see them less often in years to come as they go their separate ways, so each visit is more treasured than before.  Stories will be shared and new memories made.  A little chaos, loud laughter, quiet conversations and just “being there” will be the best gifts of all.

Traveling to see loved ones is not always easy, but it is ALWAYS worth the trip!  

          This season we celebrate the amazing trip our savior made for us.   Christ left the comfort of Heaven, the company of angels and the space of eternity.  He experienced life and all its complexity…happiness, sorrow, hunger, friendship and adversity.  He took on the confines of the flesh and journeyed with man, for all mankind.  In death He took on our sin that we could know forgiveness.  

This is LOVE…that He would make such journey because He considers us worth the trip! 

“And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father…for of His fullness we have all received grace upon grace…grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ”  John 1:14-17

                     When my husband and I were first married we were on a  long car ride home to see our families.  I was driving at the time.   I smiled at the sight of my sweet husband sound asleep in the passenger side of the car.  Our windows were rolled down because our little 2 door car had no air conditioning.  I was enjoying the fresh air.   

               I had just started my “shift” and was not even remotely sleepy.  You know how sometimes when you get sleepy behind the wheel you find yourself trying to stay alert?  Well, I had not gotten to that point.  I was not nodding off.  I did not need to chew gum or turn up the radio.  I did not for even a minute think I needed to wake my husband so he could take over driving.  I felt wide awake and in total control.  That is when it happened. 

WHAM!

          Suddenly a large amount of grass was flying past my face.  Literally bales of it filled our car as I plowed through the high grass of the median.  My husband,no longer sleeping of course, grabbed the wheel, keeping us from oncoming traffic on the opposite side of the median and  brought the car to a stop.  We sat there for a while letting the totality of the moment find its way past our pounding hearts to our brains.  The freshly cut grass clippings which filled our car gave off a sent that would forever remind me of this day.  By the grace of God we did not harm ourselves or anyone else.  

          Perhaps the most frightening aspect of this event was that I did not see it coming.    I was not attempting to drive while sleepy.  I felt very much awake, and yet obviously I was not equipped to be driving at that time.  I needed to rest.  It is important to realize, that no matter how “okay” you think you may be, when you are on a journey you need to rest.  This point has been driven home to me (pun intended) in a spiritual sense as well.

         Like many, I tend to fill my days with activities and events.   During the holiday season we are even more inclined to allow schedules to become too packed.  There are things we need to do, things we want to do, things we enjoy, things we should do, things we’re afraid to miss and things we do for others.  These are all good things.  But sometimes on life’s journey we forget to rest.  

            God commands us to rest.  The One who created us knows us best and knows we need rest.  He rested.   This week, this season, this year, this journey,  I desire to be more intentional in my rest stops.  I hope you will join me in an effort to reclaim a day of rest.  A time to rest in God and know His peace.  When we hear the Christmas music in our churches and our stores, when “peace on earth” and “God of Peace” is seen on cards and decorations, may we be reminded to pull over on our journey, find fellowship, encouragement and stretch our spiritual legs…find rest in God.

I have this story I like to tell.  It is just a story, it is not true, but it reveals a truth I think.  It goes like this….

          Several years ago the minimally famous actress, Dinah Wheeler, received quite bit of attention for her friendship with a woman named Carly Smithe.  Carly considered herself to be one of Dinah’s closest friends.   Whenever Dinah was  out of town on a movie shoot, Carly would take care of her place.  She would dust, vacuum, collect the mail and water the plants.  Carly would even sleep over on weekends whenever Dinah was going to be out of town for an extended period.  Dinah’s neighbors were accustomed to Carly’s comings and goings.  She was always pleasant and they’d often wave or engage in neighborly chit chat at the mail boxes.  Dinah’s neighbors considered her to be fortunate to have such a good friend as Carly.  Everything seemed fine, better than fine even….except Dinah had no idea who Carly was.

           She had never met her before and had no idea Carly had been in her home on such a regular basis.  One weekend Dinah returned home a few days earlier than scheduled from filming on location.  She found Carly in her house and immediately phoned the police.  When the authorities came to take Carly away neighbors heard her crying out, “But I’m her friend, I watch over her house and take care of her things!”   Sadly, Carly was mentally unstable.  She was a devoted fan for many years and eventually considered herself to be a close friend of Dinah’s.   Carly may have known a lot about Dinah, but she never spoke with her, wrote her or spent time with her.  There was not a “personal” relationship between them .   Carly had imagined one existed.  She believed it was true and so did all of Dinah’s neighbors. A lot of people thought Carly and Dinah were very close friends.

          Are we like that with God?  Do we hang out at His house on Sundays, watch over His things, do stuff “for God” and consider ourselves to be close to Him?    Like Carly, who was certain her attention to  Dinah’s things made her one of Dinah’s friends, do we fall into the pattern of doing things for God, but not really knowing Him in a personal way?   A relationship requires attention to the heart.  Do we listen to Him through His Word?  Do we talk with Him through prayer?  Do we rely on Him in faith and trust? 

          Sometimes I  ask myself have I become like Carly?  Does my life only look like I know God in a personal way.   2Timothy 3:13-17 warns of imposters and gives us guidance for how to not become a Carly.   “…continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them; …from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus…all scripture is inspired by god and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for  training in righteousness; that the man of God be adequate, equipped for every good work.”     

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             I have a rock in my garden.  To be honest it is the only thing I contributed to the wonderful collection of perennials and annuals which fill the landscaped areas of my yard.  The previous owners of our home invested a lot of love and time into gardening efforts.  I am forever grateful and am quick to give credit to them when someone comments on anything that is growing in my yard.   Every year and each new season I watch and wait to see what will push up from the earth.   By now I know I can expect daffodils and tulips to flourish in the spring filling every open space among the mulch piled below the trees.  Roses will attempt to blossom before the June Bugs eat them up and a purple Clematis will wind its way through my porch rails to display rather fragile petals.  Azaleas and dogwood trees will inevitably show their recognizable blooms in the early spring and summer,  while some sort of ground cover will fill in any open space around the flowerbed in the yard. 

          When we moved into the house I had plans to contribute to the work already begun by the previous owners.  I went to the garden center that first spring day fully intent on purchasing a few more flowers for the yard.  Ultimately, though not too surprisingly, I got a bit off task.  I found myself looking at bird baths and yard décor instead.  Somehow, and even I am not sure why, I ended up purchasing a rock.  It was one of those “so ugly it’s cute” sort of rocks.  The man made rock contained the image of a squinting or squished face.  Truly I can’t recall why I thought this was a necessary purchase, but purchase I did.  I do recall being pleased with myself as I in placed the unsightly thing in the middle edge of our flowerbed.   I tend to forget it is even there and sometimes find myself startled by the absurd image staring out from under the overgrown foliage. 

          One of the nice things about this early rock purchase is that, unlike so many of my other yard & garden endeavors, it has always stayed the same.  I have not, nor will I be able to, cause its downfall.  I cannot over water it, undernourish it or over prune it to an early death.   Seasons change and so does my garden.   In the fall the green plants pull back into the earth and nearby trees shed a thick blanket of dead leaves over them.  The rock remains unmoved or changed.  By wintertime the flowerbeds resemble barren land, what has not been pinned down by autumn leaves soon falls under the weight of layers of snow.   The rock remains unmoved or changed.   As spring arrives, bright green leaves unfold from every branch of each tree, and colorful blooms dot the once grey landscape.   The rock remains unmoved or changed.  By summertime the garden is full and flowing with green plants and few blooms.  Some plants will suffer neglect and fail to experience the entirety of the season.  The rock remains unmoved or changed. 

          I thought of this rock the other day when I began work on a poem I intend to write for a friend.  Through everything, the ups and downs, this friend has been like a rock in my garden.   I know that no matter how things around me change, she will remain.  I know she will share in my celebrations and comfort me in times of need.  I know that, unlike so many other things in my garden of life, I cannot neglect her because she requires nothing of me except my friendship and love.   She is an earthly example of the rock God is in our gardens of life.   The world around us may at times be conducive to wonderful blooms and beauty in our lives, but sometimes the world is inhospitable.  Some seasons find us pinned down or weakened, while others require waiting for optimal conditions.  But no matter what season of life we find ourselves in, God is unmoved or unchanged…a rock in our garden.  Just like the rock in my garden, we tend to forget He is there.   I pray we all find ourselves pleasantly startled today by the realization that no matter how lush or barren your garden is this day He remains unmoved or changed.

“I love Thee, O Lord, my strength.  The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer.  My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge;  My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold”( Psalm 18:1-2)